Bucket List: Travel Edition

   Everyone has their own specific Bucket List of stuff they want to do before they die.  You know the one I'm talking about.  The one that lists all the people you want to have sex with in an elevator with.  The one that has all the different skills you want to master like reading the Iliad or learning how to play the guitar like Jimmy Page.  We all have that list.  My lists don't really involve people I want to have sex with, nor do I wish to read the Iliad, but I do have a lot of travel stuff on my Bucket List.
    A couple of years ago, my grandfather and I sat down and made this extensive list of all the places in the world we want to visit.  We named the countries, the sights, what we wanted to do when we got there.  Unfortunately, most of them will probably not happen unless one of us wins the lottery, but as you can see my Pops and I would fit right in in good ol Lithuania drinking!

   The first place we wanted to go is in fact, Lithuania.  It is where 85% of my heritage comes from.  Most people I mention Lithuania to, look at me and say, "What the fuck is Lithuania?"  Well, let me give you a bit of a Geography lesson.
   Lithuania is a country in Northern Europe.  It sits right on the Baltic Sea by Sweden.  It has been occupied by both the Soviet Union and the Nazis but has since become its own little country full of basketball playing gorgeous people who like beets.
   I want to go to the capital, Vilnius.  I have NO desire to eat any authentic Lithuanian food however, because of the fact that they like their beets and potatoes a little bit too much.  I'm not a beet person.  But here are some quick stills of the beautiful city where some of my relatives still happen to live.

  Pretty, isn't it?

  The next place that we said we wanted to visit was Greece.  I love Greek architecture and let's face it, next to the Jewish, Greeks throw the BEST weddings! Any sort of party where you can throw plates at one another, sign me up for that shit!  Plus there's the feta and the olives and the Mediterranean Sea.  This is Santorini, the one place I want to go that isn't something usual like Athens.

   I love how the blue on the top of the buildings fits nicely with the shade of the sea and the bright blue skies.
   I also want to visit Greece, because I have this crazy obsession with Greek Mythology.  My favorites are the stories of Pandora's box and my absolute favorite Greek Myth is the one about Demeter's daughter Persephone.
  Persephone was Demeter (the goddess for harvest)'s daughter who was kidnapped by Hades and dragged into the underworld.  Demeter spent so much time looking for her beloved daughter that seasons just stopped and things started dying off.  Zeus sends Hermes to Hades to release her but Hades had a trick up his sleeve and gave Persephone a pomegranate.  When Persephone ate the pomegranate, she immediate became bound to him as his wife for four months out of every year.  Typically, the Winter months.
   As for, Pandora's Box, everyone knows that story.  Blonde bitch gets a box and is told NOT to open it.  Temptation gets her and she opens it, causing this epic rift by letting most of the evil out into the world.  She stopped one demon from flying out though.  Supposedly it was hope but I don't know.

   Next place I want to visit is Paris.  It's totally a typical Bucket List destination, but here is my reasoning as to why.
   I love everything French.  I love French food.  I love the language.  I love the scenery and the fashion.  I remember about 90% of what I learned in French class in High School. 
   Now, of course I want to go see the Eiffel Tower and the Arc d' Triumph.  Beyond that, however, I want to go to a cafe and have real espresso.  With a croque monsier (which is just the fancy Francais name for a grilled ham and cheese sandwich but it sounds so much better in French) and some champagne. 
   I also want to go and see Sacre Coeur, which translates to Sacred Heart and it is a BEAUTIFUL cathedral in Paris. 

   While I am gallivanting around in Paris, I am also a big classic rock person.  For anyone that knows classic rock, and the influence and backbone behind it, you probably know where this is going.  Who was an influential musician who died at a young age and is now buried in Paris?  If you guessed, Jim Morrison of The Doors, DING DING you win!

  On the subject of death, I now bring you to the next place I want to visit and that is the Taj Mahal. 

   Back to another history lesson.  The Taj Mahal was constructed after Emperor Jahan's beloved third wife died horrifically during childbirth.  Mind you, the Mrs. was in the process of giving birth to her FOURTEENTH child!  

   Anyway, so an overly grieving Jahan goes and builds this massive tomb for his wife using marble brought from all over the world.  That's true love right there! 

   

   Next place I would love to go is The Great Wall of China.  Not because I really want to visit China in any way shape or form, but just because I want to see in real life what this massive wall looks like! If you can see it from outer space, damn it, I want to see it right in front of me!

  

    The concept of the Great Wall of China has always fascinated me.  The thing is roughly 2,500 miles long not to mention all the side ways of it.  It took forever to build.  I mean, numerous dynasties.  Not to mention, my favorite random side note but it is also a cemetery.  So many construction workers died during the construction of the wall, that the fellow workers wouldn't even move their bodies.  They would just build over them.  So, essentially, you are walking on a very long pile of bodies.  

    Don't worry, it's been so long that their remains are back to being dust at this point.  But it is kind of eerie.  

 

    Next place is The Vatican.  Now, as my faithful readers have already learned, I HATE CATHOLICISM.  Just earlier, I made a comment to my lapsed Methodist dad, how I am convinced that the Catholic Church's money goes directly to the Pope for his funny hat and fancy robes.  Now, the only reason as to why I want to go to the Vatican is because I just want to see what the big fucking deal is!  Seriously, I won't go into another religious debate, but I will say that I love the architecture.  That is really the only reason I would even consider going there to begin with.

   Next is Pompeii/Mt. Vesuvius.  Mt. Vesuvius is a volcano in Italy that erupted in 79 AD and BURIED an entire civilization.  Now, Pompeii has turned into quite the tourist attraction because the bodies of the victims were covered in ash and forever kept them preserved just as they were when they expired.  Apparently, and I don't know how true it is, but I have heard/read that in one of the houses in Pompeii, there is a couple making love.  Can you imagine that being the way you go out? Not to mention the fact that Pompeii was an EXTREMELY sexual ancient society.  Comparatively, it is often joked that if Pompeii's society was around today it would be like MTV meets Playboy Network. 

    

The final place that I would love to go is actually Jerusalem.  But that will NEVER happen because I'm not going to a country that is on the news every day for having car bombings.  No.  I wanted to go to Jerusalem to see what all the fuss is about.  The Middle East is where all the stories in the bible take place, and I understand that thousands of years have passed, but I'd still like to see what it is all about there.

    I'm pretty sure, fucking Moses wasn't anticipating that his land would keep getting blown up by the Pakistanis.  

   I remember watching an episode of The 700 Club one night a long time ago back when I was in high school.  I remember that they were doing this expose on supposedly finding the cave where Jesus' body was laid to rest the day he died, as well as it being the cave his zombie manifestation rose from three days later.  

   It would be cool to go and hunt for super valuable landmarks like that! Trying to find the Holy Grail and Jesus' tomb among countless other things that aren't proven to have existed but are believed to have existed.  I want to find them all.

   Looks pretty spectacular when you don't consider that somewhere deep inside there is a car bombing about to happen. 

  There is my Bucket List for Travel.  Eventually I will post all of my various Bucket Lists.

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