If it were possible to have a pet cartoon zombie, the picture above would be mine. I'd name him Sprinkles. Not for any particular reason. Just how many zombies do you come across with the first name of Sprinkles?
Exactly. None...But isn't he cute?
In case any of you have been living under a rock for the last few years, modern society is OBSESSED with the idea that this virus that causes people to become zombies spreads throughout the world, thus resulting in the zombie apocalypse. No one is safe and be prepared to run because to Sprinkles and the other zombies, your brains are a Happy Meal.
Random side note: I always wondered if when zombies go for your brain, say you are really smart. Would that make your brain kind of a gourmet dinner? Like, would Stephen Hawking's brain be the high end fancy feast??
Yes, that is a Lego Stephen Hawking...It is irrelevant, but fucking awesome.
Here is the type of people that I would be okay with flesh eating zombies going after. These are the types of people I would bring to Sprinkles' cage just so that the world wouldn't have to have them anymore.
1. People who sexually, physically, mentally abuse children. Given. I'd probably giggle as they were being eaten.
2. Rapists. Given. Again, I'd probably giggle as they were being eaten.
3. Chicks who run around saying YOLO all the time. Yeah, You Only Live Once....then you are Sprinkles' dessert.
4. Guys who wear their pants down around their knees with their boxers and or asses hanging out....You look stupid. That will never be a good style and you will be a good appetizer.
5. Terrorists... because Sprinkles likes Middle Eastern cuisine on Thursdays....
6. Nicky Minaj: I imagine that she would taste like a My Little Pony.
7. Bill O' Reilly. He's annoying and now that the "Fuck it, we'll do it live!!!" thing has passed and gone viral, I have no use for him anymore.
8. Girls who sleep around with a bunch of dudes then say that they aren't sluts. Especially when they say that doing it in the rear doesn't count in adding to their number of sexual partners...To better define these girls, watch this video by my girl Jenna Marbles. She explains it pretty well the kind of girls I'm talking about:
9. People who name their kids stupid names like Hashtag. Yeah, in case you missed the news, these people literally named their child (born in 2012) after that little fucking symbol (#) you use on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. That kid is going to get the shit kicked out of her....You aren't Gwyneth Paltrow, Chica. You can't just name your kid weird names and it be okay...
If starting off the zombie apocalypse meant getting rid of all the annoyances and disgusting filth in the world, then I am all game. It's when it comes to fighting back that is gonna suck. I have numerous amounts of friends who are huge zombie enthusiasts. Kat and I had a pretty full planned idea when I was still living in New Hampshire. We found the perfect location to set up shop should we have to sniper some undead neighbors.
Zombies have always kind of been my clowns though. A lot of people are afraid of clowns. I'm afraid of zombies. The culture of them are cool. That little doodle I have of "Sprinkles", is a-dork-able. The idea of something coming and eating my brains though, or ripping my throat apart with it's teeth...not exactly the warm and fuzzy feeling.
Then you add a love story in the mix and I forget how scared I am of these things. I am a romantic, yuppy sap who enjoys a good love story. Sure as shit, one came out last month that I wish got as much cred as Twilight. Brooding golden vampires or brooding grey zombies. I choose the latter with Warm Bodies.
I will probably be one of the first to go down should this ever happen. I am weak, and it would be my luck that I would most definitely end up getting chased by a zombie that was a Olympic track runner or something. I will be food. Actually, I found the best way to avoid getting eaten from a Meme off of Tumblr:
Oh and don't judge me for wanting a pet cartoon Zombie named Sprinkles. He'd be an awesome fucking pet. Just sayin...
;) xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment