My Worst Date Experience

   We have all been on that one date that has gone terribly wrong.  The chemistry didn't match up.  They smell really bad.  It's very apparent that they have no direction in life.  We have all been there.  It happens. 
   A fan of mine gave me the idea to share my worst date experience, just for shits and giggles because they figure that with my luck with love, I must have one that really makes me look fucking fantabulous.  Well, here I am to deliver that story because it is a great one. 

   About a year and a half ago, I went through this transitional period where I was between two semi-serious relationships.  In between, I decided to date a little here and there just to occupy my time because I hate being alone.  So, one of my friends set me up with this guy, I will call Luke.  She swore up and down that Luke was this great guy and was smart and funny and handsome and had a good job and was well structured.  Okay, so I'll have dinner with the guy.  What could it hurt, right?
   We went to this fancy restaurant in between both of our houses.  He was pretty handsome, and major kudos on the fact that he knew how to pull together an outfit.  A man that can dress himself without looking like a bum is a plus for me.  He was sitting there, drinking a beer on tap and patiently waiting for me.  When he saw me, he flashed a pretty decent smile. 
   The boy wore a nice cologne, and chatted me up about his family and his goals and a whole bunch of other bullshit that I thought to myself, maybe this guy is worth taking a chance.  Then he dropped the biggest piece of bullshit I had heard since I was with my pathological lying ex:

   "Yeah, so I'm a cop on [my town] Police Force."  He says.  Suddenly, my sexual and emotional interest was no longer there, and here is why.

   I live in a small town.  I know all of the cops on the police force and most of them are very dear friends of mine.  So, you can imagine through my astonishment that this guy was completely full of shit.  He told me about how he had just graduated from the academy and how he was going to one day be Detective.  Yeah, okay buddy.  I lost all interest and texted my friend telling her the code word we have for one another when we are on bad dates.  Pretty much, the other person calls and says there is an emergency and we duck out like our house is burning down.  She was unreachable, so I had to sit through this dinner and continue to listen to the crap coming out of this guy's mouth.
   Finally, I had had enough.  I called him out and you should have seen the look on the kid's face.  He tried calling my bluff, until he realized that I have many of them saved in my phone as personal contacts.  I was actually offended that he thought I was a stupid girl who would fall for that crap.  Nice try, Nash Bridges.  Nice try.

   The next day, I told the story to one of my very close cop buddies and he laughed his ass off and told me about how he had arrested him not so long ago, because he told some other girl that he was an officer.  This other girl, was the Detective at the time's FUCKING NIECE!  Big mistake, because he was formally charged with fraud and impersonating a police officer.  I'm laughing my butt off while writing this because I remember how absolutely crazy this idiot is.  I am so glad I dodged that bullet. 
    The problem is, that Luke tells the wrong girls about his fantasy career to try to bed them.  While a man in uniform is sexy, I really have to say that it has to be a REAL uniform.  None of this Halloween Store stuff.  I sometimes wonder how he has ended up.  Whether he has committed the same crime again.  Why not just tell people you went to Hogwarts and are now a wizard?  Oh and that you had sex with Hermoine.  That's just as believable. 
   Not to mention reading this guy's text messages was like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphs.  I remember he sent me a text that read:
   "Y U No Call Me NEMore? U a bitch 4 dittching me."
    I am a writer for a living! Spelling is very important and if you can't even produce a predicate, let alone spell the simple words of why and you, bet your Batman loving ass I will not sleep with you.  Instant turn off.  Sorry.
    Again, I'm glad I dodged that bullet.  I'm all set with fake law enforcement.  Thanks.

xoxo ;)

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Turning Over A New Leaf

   I post the picture of my watch purely to associate the correspondence with being productive with my time.  My readers should also know, that I am extremely hung over from drinking copious amounts of wine last night.  My head hurts and I am drinking Gatorade like it's 2004 and I'm on the soccer team again.  My makeup is also smeared because I had no energy to remove my contacts, thus my eye makeup is still intact but looks like absolute shit.
   HOWEVER despite all of this, I have a positive outlook in life.  As many know from my previous posts, I was in a rut for a long time.  I'm bouncin back, Baby! Fuck being emo all this time! Because YOLO and LOL with life!  I now want to be Ms. Optimist. Here is my secret: 
   Step 1. Rid my life of those that influence negativity.  Unfortunately, it had rid me of many friends.  I think the Bible has a scripture that says, "Poor association spoils useful habits".  One of the few scriptures I live by.  I'd rather be a loner doing my own shit and getting my life on track than surrounding myself with negativity. 
     Step 2. Stop looking for love! I learned that I don't need someone else to complete me. Stop dating/sleeping with/giving a chance with knights in shining tin foil and wait for the knight in shining armor.  He's out there. I don't hate my exes.  They have taught me things about myself.  Except one.  I fucking hate him with a fire passion.  If he ever wears this, fuck you.  And you stole my Spiderman shirt.  Dick.
    Step 3: Embrace physical beauty.  Below is a picture of me in high school, when I was considered plain and 'ordinary'.  Thus, my confidence back then was shit:

  Ok, so maybe my senior portrait wasn't as bad as I thought.  But I never wore makeup, never did anything with my awful hair.  Here is a picture of me in college:

  A little better.  I kinda miss my red hair.  But now here is what I look like now.

   My hair is cute (and lighter than I have ever had it which by the way I have gotten so many compliments on!), I've mastered the wing look with liquid eyeliner.  I have discovered foundation and finishing powder as well as bronzer because I'm paler than a China Doll.  I look great! I feel great! Oh and I lost 60 lbs!
    Step 4: Workout better.  I go for two mile runs as often as I can.  Thankfully, I live on Dirt Road, Vermont.  Therefore I can run in the middle of the road like a bitch that doesn't care.  I also do a lot of cardio.  Pull ups.  Because I want to maintain the new bod I have because never in my life have I looked like this:

  Step 5: Blog more! Notice I post a lot more than I did when I was in my rut and not being productive?  Plus my work is getting comedy back.  Read my "Wal-Mart" post.  Note that I have gotten a lot of people that have thought that was some of my best work!
   Step 6: Let shit roll off! I try to not let stupid shit get to me. It's no secret that I blow shit out of proportion.  I hold grudges when people do me wrong and it takes me a long time to get over stuff.  Those that have hurt me a year ago, yeah.  I'm still not happy with you.  We may talk, but I still am not happy with your face.  I also have a temper.  Don't piss me off. 
   Step 7: Express myself more.  I express my feelings through literature.  I write them better than say them.  When conversing with another individual, I cannot say things that I feel to their face.  It really sucks because texting and writing does not show emotion.  Most of the fights I have ever gotten in in my life have been via text because I am a pussy when it comes to standing up for my feelings.  I also hold my feelings in for months.  Sometimes years.  No bueno.

   Ok, the real reason I am all optimistic and YOLO is because I almost got held up at gunpoint the other night by this CRAZY FUCKING GINGER that smoked crack cocaine out of a Red Bull can in my work bathroom! Thankfully my pretty much aunt and uncle were there to thwart it.  Plus, the town police didn't do anything like arrest the mother fucker because the evidence was "circumstantial".  I generally have respect for them because many on the force are personal friends, but now I really don't like them in the 'Serve and protect' way.  Do you guys realize this guy could have killed me?  Seriously the scariest experience of my life.  I don't feel safe in my job anymore.  I never want to experience something like that ever again.
   So, in conclusion, I want to spend my life thinking on the positive side.  Be more productive.  Be stronger.  Be wiser.  Be kinder.  That is what I want the most! Wish me luck!

;) xoxo

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Greatest Pickup Lines

  I have noted all the crazy pickup lines I have ever read/heard and I would like to share them with my readers because I needed to find laughter. I want to spread said laughter. Maybe you can use them when trying to pick someone up too. 

1. "Your body is like a speeding ticket in a construction zone... DOUBLE FINE!"

2. "Is your name Dora? Cause I'll let you explore this dick."

3. "I left a blowjob at your house. Can I stop by and get it later?"

4. "Is your name Skittles, cause I want you to taste my rainbow...dick"

5. "Are you a Flinstone? Because I wanna Bam Bam your Bedrock."

6. "You may think I’m ugly and I may think you’re hot, but opposites attract, right?"

7. "I'm an astronaut. Can my rocket ship explore your black hole?"

8. "I may not be 5 gum but I can still stimulate your senses."

9. "I might need Life Alert because I’ve fallen in love with you and can’t get up."

10. "Do you like soda? Because I’d love to mountain dew you."

11. "You have an ass like JLo. Wanna bang?"

12. "Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me horny."

13. "Do you like wine? Because fuck me."

14. "Roses are red. Violets are Blue. I just wanna have sex with you."

15. "I haven't swept the floor yet. Sorry if your knees get dirty."

16. "You are just sexy enough to make me a sandwich."

17. "I don’t need my magic carpet to take you over, sideways and under."

18. "I hope you like the Backstreet Boys because my penis is larger than life."

19. "You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar."

20. "Nice virginity. Can I have it?"

Oh, the romantics behind such lines! 

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Thoughts, News, Me. Beware: Topic ADD/Hypocritical Advice

   I accomplished something last week I have kept under wraps until I got some information on it.  So, this woman from Simon and Shuester approached me via phone and e-mail within the course of the last two weeks stating she had interest in one of my novellas.  Not really a novella.  More of a memoir. 
   Brief synopsis: I wrote a manifesto about my experience at my Alma Mater.  The people I met that impacted my life the most, good and bad.  The truest friends I have ever had.  I also wrote about them, without stating any names due to the potential that depending on how their story goes, they could sue me.  So I went by the type of footwear that they sported the most.  Thus, creating a memoir entitled, "Footwear: The People You Meet In College". 
   I am a self proclaimed, very funny woman.  My memoir mixes a lot of comedy with emotion due to the fact that I am a very emotional person.  Not only those few days a month when all I want to do is eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's and am a raging c-u-next-tuesday to innocent bystanders.  Like, this week.  Sorry.  Menstrual jokes make me giggle because my female audience can relate.
   I have spent the last few months crying over stupid shit in my life.  Not finding romantic happiness.  Working at a job I hate with no respect.  Not feeling worthy of the world at all.  I front that I am confident and that I am comfy in my own skin, but it is in fact bullshit.  There is one thing I am confident in though, and that's that I can make people laugh in my writing.  I may go through spurts where I piss and moan about how I am afraid that I will fall on my ass and fail, but a very special friend of mine told me when I shared this news with him, that "failure is part of life.  Taking a chance is part of life.  Don't regret the past when you reach future events".  I rolled my eyes at him and he told me he would smack me if I didn't call this woman back.  If I didn't take the chance. 
   Many others have been on my case about bucking up and getting over my fear.  I have to also give them credit, despite the fact that violence wasn't exactly and option or consequence. 
   I like writing about my life experiences.  I have made many mistakes in my life.  Burned some bridges.  Slept with some friends. Had a pill addiction for a brief period of time. Dropped out of college.  Although the last one is irrelevant only because I ended up going back and graduating with honors.  Back to the point, I have made a few mistakes.  Lived a bit.  I am an imperfect human.  Sometimes, I hate people.  Sometimes for a good reason.  Other times not.  I want to be able to help people.  Help keep them from making the same selfish, self destructive decisions I have made.
    Remember the definition of insanity:  Don't repeat the same mistakes over and over expecting different results.  You do in fact go mad.  Batshit bananas crazy sometimes.  Shit happens.
   I made the mistake of backing out of a wonderful job opportunity that would get me the fuck out of this small Vermont town that I am seeing fall in the shitter.  I should have taken that shot.  But I have complete faith that one will turn around in no time.  I have to be optimistic.  Someone has to be, and it can only be myself.
   Life is all about priorities.  I am slowly learning that you only have yourself in life.  Make yourself do greater things with that power and endurance.  "Anything is possible if you just believe".  I've lost all faith in humanity.  I see good people falling into drug habits.  Committing crimes.  Being destructive and promiscuous.  There is in fact more to life than getting notches under your belt, getting high and commiting larceny.  Work on you before saving others  Some are worth saving.  Others you have to just let go of and hope for the best.  I've done this many of times.  I've also had bouts of success in helping people.  At the end of the day people are going to make their own choices. I made my choice.  I chose to let bygones be bygones and take a chance in life.  A perhaps seemingly selfish chance in life.  Like I said, worry about yourself before worrying about others.  As long as you are committing no actual harm to others, I encourage selfish decisions.  It's fucked, but it is my philosophy. 
   Rid yourself of the things that make you unhappy.  Start over somewhere new if you have the means.  I don't have the means right now for that, but when I do, Vermont is getting a giant "fuck you" and I am peacing out cubschout.  I love my family.  My friends.  But there is more to life than what is offered here. 
   Bottom line: I will do great.  I will do it alone if I have to.  But I am taking the chance. If I fail, I try again.  :)

;) xoxox

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Trust and Forgiveness Rant.

   When we are in elementary school, or better yet learning shit like shapes and colors and that yellow snow is bad, we also learn that forgiveness is important. Forgive and forget. We have heard it so many times throughout the course of our lives that it should come easily right?  We are also taught to never be too trusting. Harm is out there. But when you think about it, the two go hand in hand. I'm sure you have figured out where I'm going with this...

   In my 25 years walking on this atrocious planet, I have instilled more trust in people who should never have gotten it, then I can even count. I'm a trust whore because there has been more notches under that belt than a serial player could ever dream of.  Here are my views on Trust and Forgiveness. 

  TRUST:   I trusted friends to not hurt me. Friends are supposed to be there for you when everyone else is completely fucking your shit up. Funny, how quickly they tend to join in on the festivities though. I've spoken before in my last article, when I had a more positive outlook on life, about how much I don't like being friends with girls. I have boobies and a vagina. Thus, I am fully aware of the fact that I am secretly evil. But I'm not your average girl nowadays. I'm not going to chase after your boyfriend or fuck buddy because I know that there is some lines that shouldn't be crossed. I'm not going to let you walk out of the house if you really do look like shit in your outfit. I get the sacred bond of vagina partners. 

   Here is what happens to me and why I don't trust girls. Former best friend with boobs, nailed my boyfriend at the time then lied to me about it. I've had "girlfriends" secretly hook up with guys I like. That's breaking the hoe-code. I've had girls tell me I could tell them anything, so I opened up and then what a surprise, my feelings are out. We are women! Unfortunately as such, there is that natural underlying sense of competition. Oh she is prettier than me. Her hair may be shinier but my ass is smaller. 

   It is how our shit works, and it is fucked up. 

   I befriend guys because 1) I like to watch sports and eat buffalo wings and drink beer. 2) Typically they are more honest than girls. 3) they can usually fix my car. 4) I can make a lot of penis jokes that only men appreciate. 

    But befriending guys doesn't mean you escape the drama. Just as the risk as trusting the girls is, trusting your guy friends as a woman can be far more detrimental. Guys aren't typically known to fuck over their female friends' trust. Usually this happens when more deeper feelings get involved. But, even I have had those select few male friends that have smiled to my face then aired my laundry behind my back. 

   Once you fall for your male friends, as a heterosexual woman, then you are fucked! Things get complicated. Feelings get hurt and trust gets broken. Sometimes, you get played. Sometimes you both fall in love but sometimes that isn't enough. I've had both happen. After my divorce, I embraced a ten year long urge with my best friend. Because the feelings had always secretly been there, I hoped he was the one. At the time he was. Then, I had to move. Now he is the one that got away, but the reason as to why I lost trust in him is because he nailed my best friend at the time and lied to me about it. 

   My marriage fell apart because he was a compulsive liar and abusive asshole. I spent three years with him and by the end of year one, there was no trust. Just fear. It wasn't until after we separated that he admitted to always having more severe feelings for my younger sister. Talk about confidence killer. I haven't been the same since. 

   I have been played. I have been the shiny toy for five minutes, then tossed aside for a newer model a plethora of times. I'm easily manipulated into trusting people because I want to see the good in everyone. Sometimes, not everyone is good. A friend called me out on being too trusting the other day. They were right. That's what brings me here to vent about such things. 

   Note before I continue: This is a generalized rant, hence all the examples from years ago. 

   

  FORGIVENESS: Forgiveness doesn't come as easy as trust does with me. It has taken me three years since my divorce to forgive my ex. He put me through a form of Hell, I wouldn't wish on anyone. But I learned to forgive. It used to be that if I ever saw him again, I'd probably beat his ass. Now, I'd thank him for letting me go because it was the best thing he ever did for me. My love life may be shit right now, but I would rather deal with the heartache over a short lived fling than go through that mess again. I forgave him. It took me awhile, but I am at peace with it. 

   I have had friends steal from me before. I have had friends betray me by spreading lies or twisting stories. I have forgiven them all, but again it took time. 

   Forgiveness when trust is broken with me is never impossible. It will happen. But you need to be patient and let the wounds heal. I won't show ill will because that's not the person I am. But just because I am still exuding kindness to you, doesn't mean I have forgiven you for hurting my feelings. Have faith I will forgive, but just know the level of trust you had before, you never will again. Also accept the fact it will take time to reach that point. 

   Whether the broken trust is due to a broken heart or absolute betrayal, I will forgive you. I expect nothing as far as effort goes to completely fix everything. Forgiveness has to be granted on my own to reestablish a deep friendship. Trust rebuilding has to be a mutual effort. I will meet you halfway. If you prove to be a better friend than before, the trust will come back. Myself on the other hand, will do everything in my power to keep your trust. 

   Rarely do I believe the poor choice of actions as my friend has malicious reasoning. Shit happens. But when feelings get hurt, it is what it is. Just know that deep down inside, many of you I will always hold love for you. The ones I know aren't malevolent. I know the difference. And you do matter dear to me. 

This article is a generalized statement of my character. I will never be one for verbal expression. Too much pressure to say all the right things. My friends needed to read this. This is me letting my guard down. I will forgive. But when I'm ready. 

  Thanks for reading. Thanks for understanding. Much love!! Xoxo. 

       -VvM. 

    

   

Never Lose Yourself Trying to Find Someone Else

   We all go through trials and tribulations in life that will either make us or break us.  Your boyfriend/girlfriend dumps you.  Your dog gets hit by a mail truck.  The grocery store is out of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.  Whatever! Shit happens and it is completely stupid to let it get you down forever.
   The entire reason why I am going on this rant is because I have been consumed in this vicious storm cloud of worry and over analyzing and super mopey and depressed over a boy. A boy that clearly will never be the "right guy" for me, despite the fact that I absolutely adore him and he is one of my best friends. Regardless, I see how I have been acting and the person that the situation made me become and I can't help but think that, "I gotta help other girls from making this same mistake."  I mean, the upside to how things panned out in my situation  is that as much as it hurts right now to know that it failed, I at least have learned some things about myself and can grow and be happy.  So I gotta thank the guy for that one.

   Here is what NOT to do when life gets you down.  Don't drink so much.  I spent the last few nights piss drunk Tornado style and each night was full of some sort of poor life choice.  Alcohol makes you depressed, and if it doesn't make you depressed, then it makes your clothes fall off and then you end up sleeping with your friend.  A cheer up cocktail is alright, but when you are doing eight shots of Patron and can't remember drunk dialing your ex the next day, it's a problem.  Especially if you repeat this cycle for days or weeks on end!

  Don't be afraid to eat your feelings.  If you had to choose between shooting heroin or eating a pound of Pillsbury Cookie Dough, which one are you going to choose.  Know what I do when life gets me down, or I get dumped or I fail a test?  I buy a bunch of Taco Bell/Pizza Hut/ etc. and I pig out and watch sappy movies like An Officer and a Gentleman.  Sure, I know that me stuffing my face will eventually reach my thighs, but hey desperate times call for desperate measures and I will stuff my face before resorting to other vices.  Plus food is good.

   Wake the fuck up and realize that you don't need someone else to make you happy, and that you can't depend on someone else to make you happy! See, this is where I went wrong and I went wrong at this turn years ago.  This isn't even a recent thing.  But after enough bad relationships (romantic or casual), I finally realized that this was where I have been going wrong.  At the end of the day, you really do only have yourself.  Some boy or girl can sit there and say that they really like you and that they want to be with you and feed you full of all of this shit, that doesn't even really matter because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF.

  Let the stupid shit just roll off.  Easier said than done and this is a BIG one for me that I need to learn.  But before I put my two cents on it, I just want to address a few points to my fellow vagina partners who I personally wouldn't mind seeing get hit by a bus.  I just have three points for them that they can answer for me in the comments box:
   1) Why do you hit on the boys that your best girl friends like/sleeping with/dating/engaged to?  Or try to seduce them?
   2) Don't say you don't like drama if you are going to go around creating it, okay?
   3) Go fuck yourselves with a giant spandex covered sledgehammer.

   Anyway, I just had to get that off of my chest.  People are always going to talk.  Sometimes, it will be the chicks you think are your friends.  That's when you realize that this is exactly why you don't have that many girl friends.  See, the girl friends in my life that I actually trust are the ones who are married/in a serious relationship/ smart and actually don't like creating trouble because they are bored.  They are hard to find, but I do really like them when they come along.  This is just the downside of being a girl.

  I always told myself that I would NEVER become "that girl" that has to rely on her boyfriend or her circle of friends to make her happy.  I used to be a very independent person until my life hit the crisis of 2010 when it fell apart.  I used to like to be by myself and just hang out in complete solitude without the yacking hens of my peers around.  Now you know what I do, whenever I am by myself for a long period of time?

This.

   I absolutely hate being by myself.  I have no value for "me" time like I used to because I allowed myself to become so consumed with having a bunch of people around because I would rather be amused than bored and lonely.  I'm not saying I want to be a hermit, I'm just saying that I need to invest a little more time in "me time" than what I have been.  Once you start losing the traits about you that you used to have complete confidence in, that's when you are in for a world of shit.  I used to pride myself on being independent.  I used to literally get in my car and drive for like three hours to get away from people.  Now I sit around the house and if it's too quiet, I need to hang out with somebody because I just can't stand being by myself.

   

  It's just some food for thought and a little vent sesh.  Those are my thoughts.  I love you all (except those bitches that I pointed out...you suck), and I will be okay once I balance myself out a little bit.  

;) xoxo

-VvM

P.S. My computer is fucked up so that's why I haven't been writing four articles a week. Hopefully the computer Patch Adams will save it's life.  But I think it's dead.  Oops.   

The Best Place in Boston Ever

  This past weekend I spent with good friends in Boston and I had the time of my life. My best friend was having her wedding reception on a Boston Harbor cruise ship, and despite the fact that the ship charged an unGodly amount of money for a pomegranate martini, it did live up to the "booze cruise" title. 

   Aside from the ship, which will get its own review, my date and I happened to stumble upon a fine establishment called The Whiskey Priest right on Boston Harbor. 

   Hands down, this place was amazing. 

   Our first day in Boston, after Google maps got us all sorts of lost, we needed a drink. So, after we gave my car to the hotel valet, we took a stroll down the street and found The Whiskey Priest. Considering he and I are both big supporters of alcohol and Irish enthusiasm, we said "why the hell not?" and walked inside. 

   First off...the bar. The bar wraps around the entire bottom floor of the pub. They have so many kinds of whiskey it is absolutely ridiculous. The bar tender, an older gent with a very thick Bostonian accent, explained that The Whiskey Priest had been opened since 2010 and that its been doing well for itself. Never found out his name, but I'm gonna call him Mickey. He looked like a Mickey. 

   Then, this very beautiful (albeit cougar status) woman with blonde hair and blue eyes approaches the bar. It took all of three seconds for my date and I to realize that she was 100% full blooded, absolutely, straight off the boat Irish. Caught her name. It was Siobhan. Of course it would be Siobhan! (Note: It is pronounced 'shiv-Vaughn' for those who may have thought it was pronounced 'Seo--bahn'). 

    We tried explaining to Siobhan that we were a couple from Vermont. She didn't understand what Vermont was. Then, returning our conversation to Mickey, we told him that we live near a town called Sunderland and all of a sudden, the studious and petit Siobhan pipes up with, "Sunderland is in England!"

   No....nice try Shiv.  Nice try. 

   Upstairs of the building is this gorgeous patio that overlooks the harbor. Here is the one thing that sucks about the upper deck, though: 

    Because this is a whiskey bar, they typically prefer to serve whiskey in a glass. When you sit up on the upper deck, you drink out of plastic cups. My date wanted whiskey but they wouldn't serve it to him upstairs because they don't typically serve it in plastic cups. So, we had to improvise. 

    I'd like to hope there is some epic story behind it. For example, some dumb fuck tourist got really drunk and stumbled up onto the deck and threw a glass at some Boston skank walking down the street. Then Mickey (who was about 6 foot 4, 300lbs and definitely could toss you on the street by your pinkies) probably had to detain the drunk tourist and he struggled therefore he fell to his death on the curb below. 

   I know it's twisted, but its better than "oh yeah, we don't serve in glasses up here just because..." 

   The food was great. Buffalo wings? Delicious. Irish fries? Delicious. And the booze! Those Irish really do not fuck around when it comes to mixing a drink. I had a Jameson and Coke and by God in a chocolate Utopia it was strong!!!  

  Then there are the servers. I did not see one unattractive waitress working there. Miserable twat waffles some of them were, but their faces weren't too bad to look at. 

   All in all, the only complaints I have about it is, that while I understand the liability of it, serve Whiskey upstairs. 

   Oooh and when we went to lunch there on our first day, a wedding reception was happening there. Bride and groom walked into a large crowd full of cheers. I would so get married at The Whiskey Priest. Goddamn it, I just may. 

   Seriously, I you are ever at Boston Harbor, go to this place. You won't regret it. Thank you, The Whiskey Priest!