I post the picture of my watch purely to associate the correspondence with being productive with my time. My readers should also know, that I am extremely hung over from drinking copious amounts of wine last night. My head hurts and I am drinking Gatorade like it's 2004 and I'm on the soccer team again. My makeup is also smeared because I had no energy to remove my contacts, thus my eye makeup is still intact but looks like absolute shit.
HOWEVER despite all of this, I have a positive outlook in life. As many know from my previous posts, I was in a rut for a long time. I'm bouncin back, Baby! Fuck being emo all this time! Because YOLO and LOL with life! I now want to be Ms. Optimist. Here is my secret:
Step 1. Rid my life of those that influence negativity. Unfortunately, it had rid me of many friends. I think the Bible has a scripture that says, "Poor association spoils useful habits". One of the few scriptures I live by. I'd rather be a loner doing my own shit and getting my life on track than surrounding myself with negativity.
Step 2. Stop looking for love! I learned that I don't need someone else to complete me. Stop dating/sleeping with/giving a chance with knights in shining tin foil and wait for the knight in shining armor. He's out there. I don't hate my exes. They have taught me things about myself. Except one. I fucking hate him with a fire passion. If he ever wears this, fuck you. And you stole my Spiderman shirt. Dick.
Step 3: Embrace physical beauty. Below is a picture of me in high school, when I was considered plain and 'ordinary'. Thus, my confidence back then was shit:
Step 4: Workout better. I go for two mile runs as often as I can. Thankfully, I live on Dirt Road, Vermont. Therefore I can run in the middle of the road like a bitch that doesn't care. I also do a lot of cardio. Pull ups. Because I want to maintain the new bod I have because never in my life have I looked like this:
Step 6: Let shit roll off! I try to not let stupid shit get to me. It's no secret that I blow shit out of proportion. I hold grudges when people do me wrong and it takes me a long time to get over stuff. Those that have hurt me a year ago, yeah. I'm still not happy with you. We may talk, but I still am not happy with your face. I also have a temper. Don't piss me off.
Step 7: Express myself more. I express my feelings through literature. I write them better than say them. When conversing with another individual, I cannot say things that I feel to their face. It really sucks because texting and writing does not show emotion. Most of the fights I have ever gotten in in my life have been via text because I am a pussy when it comes to standing up for my feelings. I also hold my feelings in for months. Sometimes years. No bueno.
Ok, the real reason I am all optimistic and YOLO is because I almost got held up at gunpoint the other night by this CRAZY FUCKING GINGER that smoked crack cocaine out of a Red Bull can in my work bathroom! Thankfully my pretty much aunt and uncle were there to thwart it. Plus, the town police didn't do anything like arrest the mother fucker because the evidence was "circumstantial". I generally have respect for them because many on the force are personal friends, but now I really don't like them in the 'Serve and protect' way. Do you guys realize this guy could have killed me? Seriously the scariest experience of my life. I don't feel safe in my job anymore. I never want to experience something like that ever again.
So, in conclusion, I want to spend my life thinking on the positive side. Be more productive. Be stronger. Be wiser. Be kinder. That is what I want the most! Wish me luck!
;) xoxo
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