Reasons I Won't Go Out With Boys I Went To High School With

Thanks to Facebook, I have boys I went to high school with floating the idea of a sexual relationship/going on a date with me. No... And here is the reasons why:

In High School I was:
Smart
Modest
Funny
Confident.

Now as an adult I am:
Still smart. Graduated college with two degrees AND on Dean's List, motherfuckers!
Not really modest anymore. I realized I have an awesome set of jugs and a great ass. I flaunt it without being trashy but I do flaunt it.
Funny. Hi, have you read some of my blog posts, status updates, Tweets? I am hil-arious!!!
Slowly getting my confidence back. Back enough to realize my High School crushes are a bunch of dumbasses.

I am nice on top of all of it. I may be sarcastic now but it's because it has taken you 7 years to realize I am awesome. So, for every boy I went to high school with that hits on me now: Fuck you very much! I don't have time for penises that find me attractive now. Thanks.