Winter: Mother Nature's Miserable Period.

Winter. That magical time of year where snowflakes fall from the sky like little ballerinas dancing in the wind. The time of year when all you smell is peppermint and gingerbread in certain aisles of Walmart. The time of year when you can "hit the slopes" with all the rich yuppies from Manhattan. Ah, how it is so magical, calm and peaceful.
Oh wait...no it isn't.
Winter is Mother Nature's menstural cycle. It's miserable, angry and full of wrath. The combination of cold, wind, slush, snow, ice makes it one of the most miserable experiences of the year. All the other months have warmth and sun and winter is bitter and gross. Winter in Vermont sucks!
For those readers who are unfamiliar with the state of Vermont, (I say "state" because many Southerners seem to think we are part of Canada) we are part of this awesome area called 'New England'. New England is known for two things: clam chowder and bi-fucking-polar weather! It is where Mother Nature's hormone levels function from. Like weather menopause. One day it will be nice, sunny and warm. The next day it's raining buckets and I'm wearing a ski coat. Calm your shit, Mother Nature and pop a Midol.
Winter 2011-2012 was superb. It was 40's and 50's all winter long, hardly any snow and sunny. Unheard of for this time of year. We were spoiled like rich blond stepchildren. This year, we have gotten slush, wind, -16 degree temperatures. Hell, some days I felt like I was living in Saskatchewan, Canada where the winter temps PEAK at -35.
I know I shouldn't bitch because I choose to live here. Well, kind of. I do not ski, snowboard, sled or snowmobile. So therefore, this cold shit never really affects me in a positive manner.
But now they are naming the snowstorms. As I write this blog, Winter Storm Rocky is causing loud pitter patter of sleet on my windows. Three weeks ago it was Winter Storm Nemo. So first, the NWS names the first storm after a Disney fish. Now after a fictional boxer. Mother Nature should have Rocky hit us as "Eye of the Tiger" playing softly in the background. It would at least make sense.
I want spring, goddamnit. I want to wear shorts, mini skirts and tank tops with flip flops. I wanna step outside without freezing my can and chest melons off. So, Mother Nature, can you do me and everyone else in New England a solid and get off your 4 month long period and be warm again? It'd be great. Thanks.

Xoxo ;)