Before you further read this article, or any other of my blogs, know that I am a huge Star Wars fanatic! I'm talkin', total Jedi dork. When the Special Edition came out, my dad went out and bought me every Star Wars action figure. Bobba Fett, Princess Leia with the cinnamon roll hairdo, Luke Skywalker with the detachable hand, Princess Leia with the braids from ESB. But not Golden Bikini Leia because of that whole 'she looked like a space slut' thing. I had the books, the clothes, the lunch boxes. It has followed into my adult years because this year for Christmas my favorite present was my Darth Vader shaped slippers.
Ob(i)sessed much? < see what I did there??
I am not embarrassed or ashamed to admit how much of a Jedi Dork I am. Most girls my age are busy being obsessed with glittery vampires in Twilight and touching themselves while reading 50 Shades of Grey. Really bitches? Remember Chewie was a more badass "dog" than your 'werewolf', and I'm sure in some weird porno flick Leia and Han Solo probably had awesome rough sex better than your 50 Shades of Grey protagonists. You have your guilty pleasures, I have mine.
Just like your guilty pleasures are I'm sure very thought provoking with all that it entails, mine are as well. Also know about me that I am extremely nocturnal. I work second shift so my crash time is generally 4am. Thus, I think really random things late at night. Like, that I need to start up a new blog because the old one got boring and I like to troll Reddit, and that is where I got the idea for this first subject.
Someone ended up posting on Reddit a picture of a sloth. The picture above actually. I added the Ewok and the picture of Chewbacca but it sparked my thought that that particular sloth is the perfect example of what the baby of a Wookie and an Ewok hybrid would look like. I then named my new Star Wars species a Wookwok. Take notes, J.J. Abrams. I just found you space gold.
I want one of these things as a pet and here is a list of reasons as to why:
1. Ewoks party rock hard. I mean, watch the last three minutes of Return of the Jedi. It's like a fucking teddy bear prom. Harrison Ford even said so.
2. Wookies are fucking scary and will kick your ass to protect their best friends. Chewie is always ready to kick ass on behalf of Han Solo. That's loyalty.
3. They are ADORABLE!
I don't even really know what a Sloth is besides the mythological creature that I have created in my mind. Is it a mammal? Is it part of the ferret family? I have no idea. For all I know it's a chinchilla with a bad hair day. But if they were this species I have orchestrated in my mind on this frigid February morning, that is exactly what they would be: A Wookwok.
Think it's time I go to bed. Mainly because not only do I work tomorrow, but now I'm considering what this thing's meal plan would consist of....
Goodnight. ;) xoxo
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