The Long Road to Better Teeth (And a Hidden Minecraft Reference Just Because)

   I was cursed with bad teeth.  Those who know me, understand what I mean.  I have only smiled with my mouth open for a picture probably only a handful of times in my adult life.  I was lucky as a child, as my "baby teeth" came in PERFECT.  See?

   I was a cute kid, right? But once I lost my baby teeth, my teeth grew in all sorts of fucking crooked.  I might as well be British because they are just that bad.  I have all sorts of problems.  My enamel was thin, and now my top fronts are completely screwed to the point where they are going to rip them out of my skull.  Thankfully, I will get a new set of teeth immediately that will give me a BITCHIN' smile.
    One of my friends told me the other day, while I was completely down in the dumps because I am terrified of having all of this work done, something that I will probably always remember because it gave me a little boost of confidence.  He said, "When you get your new smile, you'll be too hot to hang out with us anymore."
    Note: That won't happen, but thanks for the compliment.

    I am in a LOT of pain because of my dental issues.  I can't eat chocolate without my mouth feeling like it is getting drilled.  I have horrible sensitivity to cold and hot liquid that made this winter suck absolute ass!  So, when I went the other day to have the first round of scaling done (which is where they go through and numb you all up and dig down into your root), I got this fluoride stuff:

    I took that picture mid mixing.  As you can see, it is this weird clear liquid that has the same texture of syrup.  You put it into the shot glass at the bottom line, then fill the rest of the shot glass with water.  As you can see, the shot glass comes with a lid that you screw on and then you shake the ever living shit out of it for 20 seconds and eventually it turns into that cloudy crap that you see now.
    I thought that this stuff would taste like mint.  It smelled like mint and usually with Fluoride rinses you have either your choice of mint or bubblegum when it comes to flavor.  Like I said, it SMELLED like mint but in all actuality it tasted like ass.  It was just a very bitter and I felt that maybe I was rinsing my mouth with anti-freeze.  Not a good experience. 
   I have to wash my mouth out with this grossness twice a day for thirty days.  On the flipside however, my teeth will not be so sensitive to hot and cold stuff anymore.  Which means I can enjoy a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup again.
   So, this scaling thing: It was excruciating! They numb you up FULL of Novocaine and the needles from those alone have always given me anxiety.  They only do one side of your mouth at a time, too! Once I was all numbed up, the dentist took one of these awesome things:

   and picked the ever-living-fuck out of my gums to the point where I felt like my mouth was doing this:

    Was NOT a fun experience, okay?  I am not looking forward to going in for the next appointment. 
    Also, along with leaving with the ridiculously disgusting fluoride rinse, I ended up getting this INSANE electric tooth brush that has these crazy interchangeable heads strictly from ASPEN DENTAL.  It even has a head for flossing AND brushing at the same time!

   The bristles flare out kind of like a blossoming flower as opposed to just rotating back and forth which is supposed to be better on your teeth.  The thing is crazy expensive I am sure, but it is totally worth it.  It has three different settings and it gets into the hard to reach places.  If I had had one of these 15 years ago, I probably wouldn't be all kinds of fucked up.  Yeah...
    Then, they put antibiotics into my gums to try and kill all the infection where they did the scaling.  I don't even understand how they inserted these little pods of antibiotics into my gums but they did.  Now, as a woman, the first initial thought is 'antibiotics don't mix with oral contraceptives' (which I found RIDICULOUSLY ironic in this case). They are these little pods of some substance that they use a tiny little plunger to put it into your gums.  Over the course of 30 days they are supposed to rid my mouth of inflammation. The concept itself is weird to me, but as long as it's effective, I will be happy.

   So, because I am slowly going through this VERY expensive and very gruesome experience I figured that I would share some advice.  Take care of your teeth! Brush, floss, go to the dentist regularly because this kind of shit is NOT fun!  Granted, in the long run it will pay off because I will have a killer smile that I have always wanted but ballpark, all the work that I have to have done costs about the price of a used 2006 Nissan Altima.  I'm talking about $8,000.  Hell, just to scale one half of my face it was about $650 and I am pretty goddamned sure that $550 of that went to the crap mouthwash and fancy shmancy awesome toothbrush...

   As I continue on through this procedure I will blog about it.  Hopefully by July I will be all said and done with it.  If I'm really lucky, June.  Wish me luck!

  xoxo ;)

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